


Pregnancy Test II

by oscarwildewannabe



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alexis-centric, Canon Compliant, F/M, Future Fic, M/M, Sibling Bonding, Slight angst but with a very happy ending, Stevie and Patrick are basically Rose siblings at this point, pregnancy reveal, so they count in that too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:53:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oscarwildewannabe/pseuds/oscarwildewannabe
Summary: Alexis may or may not have a bigger problem than the fact that she just puked all over David's Romanian Tile





	Pregnancy Test II

**Author's Note:**

> Reupload. 
> 
> Just a little something I wrote about Alexis finding out she's pregnant. In my head this does predate one of my other fics (Babysitting) but it defiantly can be read on it's own. Also includes a couple of little details that are my own personal headcanons you can either take those or leave 'em

Contrary to what David might tell others, Alexis wasn’t stupid. At least, she wasn’t that stupid. She knew that the signs were all right in front of her. She knew what all of this was adding up to. She just was hoping, maybe, that if she ignored it...

She was fidgeting with the ring on her left hand. It hadn’t been that long ago that she and Ted had decided to try again. He was it for her. Really and truly it. They had talked about it in passing, and so it was only about 6 weeks ago that she had gotten down on her knees (metaphorically of course because eww can you imagine?) and asked him to marry her. Given their track record with this question she thought that maybe it would be best if she were the one to ask. Turns out she had been right. 

But that was 6 weeks ago. And now she was standing in David and Patrick’s store and she’s 3 weeks late and fighting down the urge to empty her stomach in David’s bathroom. She’s taking deep breaths through her nose and telling herself she’s just grossed out by the smell of the new moisturizer David’s talking about. But still, she’d had sex against a literal dumpster before in Thailand and even that didn’t even turn her off... 

“...and they used even used the goats milk from Brenda’s farm to make it instead of store bought and are you even listening to me??” 

She turned her attention to David and nodded, “Mmmhmm something about goats”

David tolled his eyes, he was annoyed with her it honestly that was the least of her concerns right now, David was pretty much always annoyed with her. 

“Okay what is going on with you?” He asked, “you like begged me to let you come along to the store today and now you’re not even listening to what I’m telling you!”

“Ugh I'm sorry David I’ve just...I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.” 

David squinted at her, “okay well I doubt that you’ve ever like actually had a lot on your mind ever so...”

She glared at him, she knew that he was teasing her but still. He always did this. He thought she was a stupid, careless person. And she used to be. She knew that. But that’s not who she was anymore was it? Right? She was better than that. She was smarter than that; she had a degree for crying out loud, that she got all by herself thank you very much David and his private tutors for a freakin BFA (she couldn’t prove it, but she knew that he had slept with at least three of them). She was kinder, she was a good girlfriend now fiancé she thought. But what if David was right? What if she was still just that valid dumb whore from her former life? What if Ted finally came to his senses and left her for good? She couldn't do this on her own. What if she-? 

And then before she knew it she was pushing past David and puking her guts out into his toilet in his fancy bathroom. Her eyes were streaked with tears and she couldn’t tell if it was from her emotions feeing frayed to pieces or from the violent act of throwing up. She felt David kneel down next to her and pull her hair back away from her face. 

When she had finished emptying her stomach into the toilet bowl she slowly sat up and leaned her head against the wall. Her whole body was shaking and she felt like crap. She hated puking. She tried to focus on an object in the bathroom to use a kind of center. Her eyes landed on the gold faucet of the sink, but then all she could think about was the time that she and Ted and broken that same sink in that same bathroom. The memory, once pleasant, now saw her leaning over the edge of the toilet again. When she was finally done she rested her head against the cool porcelain. 

“Alexis?” She opened her eyes to see David looking at her, his expression was lacking any of its usual bite that it usually held when he looked at her. 

“I’m sorry David,” she said quietly 

“What’s wrong?” He asked 

She sighed and shook her head, she was barely ready to admit the problem to herself, admitting it to David would make it too real. 

“Alexis something’s obviously wrong, I haven’t seen you puke like that since Cancun at Kesha’s Halloween party” 

“It’s nothing,” she said

David raised an eyebrow at her suspiciously. She took another deep breath and looked at David again. He was fidgeting with the sleeve of his sweater. She knew he was trying to not to be too freaked out by the germs of her sick in his fancy bathroom and she loved him for that. She took a shaky breath and made to stand up, but her body was still shaking pretty bad and she felt David surge forward to hold her steady. 

“Come on,” He said gently and he guided her back out into the store and to the back room where he helped her ease down onto the couch that he and Patrick had placed back there. 

“Alexis, what’s going on?” He asked again, he was standing above her with his arms crossed and was looking down at her. 

She buried her head in her hands to avoid looking at him. 

“I think I might be pregnant” she mumbled into her hands

Silence. She chanced a look up at David. His eyes had gone wide and his mouth was hanging open. 

“David say something” 

“What the fuck Alexis?” 

She put her face back into her hands, “okay maybe just don’t say anything” 

But David was beyond listening to her, he was pacing back in forth in front of her which she tried to ignore because watching him move back and forth shaking his hands in his little agitated way was making her feel queasy again. 

“Pregnant?! Like with a baby? A human child? What the fuck?” 

She brought her head up to rest her chin on them. 

“I know” she said quietly 

“Well,” David paused, and crossed his arms in front of himself again, “what...uh, what are you gonna do?”

“I don’t know David,” she said and she could feel her eyes filling with tears again 

“Umm okay..” David said slowly, “Have you uh told Ted?”

She shook her head, “I don’t even know if I am yet” 

“What?!” David exclaimed, “why not?!” 

She was saved having to explain herself by the bell to the store ringing and drawing both of their attentions towards the door. 

“David? Alexis?” Patrick called out

Alexis shot David a dirty look, “you called Patrick?” 

David gave her an equally dirty look back, “I thought you were dying!” 

“So you called Patrick?!” 

David gave a disgruntled sigh, as Patrick pulled the curtain back walked over to them. 

“Alexis are you alright?” He asked 

Alexis tried to give him a weak smile, Patrick was a sweet guy. She would be the first one to admit that meeting him was the best thing that had ever happened to her brother. And marrying him had been even better. Being loved as much as Patrick loved David was good for him, it made David...softer almost. Nicer, for sure at the least. 

“No she’s not!” David said turning to his husband, “She’s puking all over my Romanian marble tiles and now she may or may not be pregnant?!” 

Patrick turned to look at Alexis, “You’re pregnant?” he asked, “actually? Or did someone just find another positive test and make a judgement?” 

He turns to look at David on this last part and Alexis recalls all those years ago when her entire family had thought she was pregnant when they had found a positive test in the trash. It had been a funny moment teasing David about having to share a room with her imaginary babies and changing their diapers. Now however, at the thought of that becoming a slightly more realistic possibility, her stomach turned. 

“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully, “I’m late and I’ve been getting sick. I haven’t taken a test or anything yet though”

“So do that!” David exclaimed, waving his hands around widely before bringing them up to press into the sides of his face, “Why haven’t you done that?!” 

“ugh David,” she said looking up at him, “do you know what would happen if I just waltzed into the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test? The whole town would know in like five minutes, and then they’d tell Ted, and then he’d be mad at me, and then he’d leave me, and I can’t be a single mom David! I don't have the budget to recreate my whole aesthetic!” 

She was crying again, and David looked slightly startled at her outburst. Patrick gave him a look before kneeling down in front of her. 

“Alright, Alexis breath,” he said calmly, “I take it then that Ted doesn’t know about any of this?” 

Alexis shook her head, “he’s been really busy at work and at first when I was getting sick I just thought it was like food poisoning from the Café ya know? But now….” She trailed off. Now she didn’t know. 

“Okay, it’s totally your decision, but I think you should take a test.” Patrick said

Alexis huffed, “I told you, I can’t—” 

“Stevie could go buy it” David said. 

Alexis looked up at him through her wet lashes. David had his arms crossed across his chest again, but his face was softer. He was making that little concerned face he did where his eyebrows creased together in the middle. 

“I mean, it’s not like she gives a shit what other people think of her in this town or anything…” he trailed off. 

Alexis looked between her brother and his husband as she considered her options. She really didn’t want any more people to know about this, but David was right. Stevie couldn’t really car less about what other people thought about her. 

“Okay,” she said quietly

David nodded, and pulled out his phone to call Stevie. Patrick shifted so that he was sitting next to her on the couch. He gently started rubbing circles on her back comfortingly. 

“Stevie,” David said into the phone, “I need you to go buy a pregnancy test from the pharmacy and bring it to the store. Like right now.” 

Alexis could hear a muffled response from Stevie on the other side of the line. David rolled his eyes and tilted his head. 

“Yes. For me." Pause. 

"No of course not Stevie!” 

Pause, “yeah, like right now” 

He hung up and hit his phone awkwardly against his hand, “she’s on her way.” 

He walked gingerly over to the couch and sat on her other side. David shot a look over her head to Patrick that she assumed he thought she missed. He rocked back and forth anxiously before saying, “he wouldn’t be mad at you” 

Alexis looked over at him in confusion, “what?” 

“Ted. You said that if you went to buy the test that someone would tell him and then he’d be mad at you and you’d be a single mother. But he wouldn’t be mad at you.” 

Alexis shook her head, “you don’t know that David. We never talked about kids. Not seriously. And like, I know that Ted would be a great dad. But I don’t know if he wants to be. I mean...If he wants to be..with me." 

“He does.” Patrick said quietly, Alexis raised her eyebrows at him in surprise. 

“What? How do you know?” she asked. She knew that Patrick and Ted were friends, but she didn’t think that they were all buddy buddy and everything. 

“He mentioned it to me once, just in passing,” Patrick said, “We were talking about being only children. He said that when he had kids he wanted to have at least two. So that they could be friends later in life like you and David. He thought it would be sweet to have a boy and a girl, Roses 2.0 is what he said” Patrick gave her a small smile. 

Alexis just blinked at Patrick. She knew that about Ted, knew it in the abstract. Knew that he wanted a family. But she didn’t know that he had actually thought about it. That he’d actually thought about as something he would have in the future, let alone have with her. That thought would have scared the shit out of the Alexis of a few years ago, but now it just kind of made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. 

“He really does love you,” David said next to her, “Like a stupid amount.”

He took a deep breath, like he was gearing himself up for something and then said, “We talked. Once. During Singles Week, before you got back together. And you know that like, I am not an expert on human emotion, but uh, I know that he never stopped loving you. Like ever. Even after all that other stuff, he still loved you. I don’t think that this, is gonna change any of that.” 

David gingerly put his hand on her shoulder and patted her twice. She gave him a watery smile. 

“And,” he continued, “even if he didn’t want to be involved. You wouldn’t be doing this on your own. I mean I don’t do diapers but, I’m sure I could stomach some like quiet babysitting time as long as the baby and I have a mutually agreed upon understanding of respect.”

Alexis gave a small laugh, and just then Stevie burst through the door, panting slightly. She walked up to the trio sitting on the couch and held out the bag in her hand. 

“Okay. It’s in there.” 

Alexis stood carefully and took the bag from her. 

“Uh, thanks.” She said quietly.

Stevie shrugged, “It’s no problem, I went to high school with Jennie who works the check out at the pharmacy and she always thought I was a slut anyway.” 

“Oh?” David asked, “And why does she think that?” 

Normally Alexis would have called her brother out on the hypocrisy of trying to slut shame someone, but he was using that teasing town he used with her when he would ask a question that he clearly already knew the answer to. 

Stevie shot him a dirty look, “It may, possibly, have something to do with the fact that I slept with her boyfriend.” 

David raised an eyebrow. 

“…and her sister.” 

“There it is!” 

Stevie gave an indignant huff, “okay you know what? This is not about me and the very poor but also very fun choices that I made in high school.” 

She turned to Alexis, “I uh, I don’t really know the whole background here, but uh. It’s gonna be okay. Whatever it says.” 

Alexis smiled at Stevie, reached for her hand and squeezed, “thanks”

She turned to Patrick, “Can I uh, can I use the bathroom here or…?” 

He nodded, “yeah of course”

She looked down again at the plastic bag in her hands and walked back out into the store and to the bathroom. She scanned the instructions quickly and sat down to take the test. As she took it, she allowed herself a moment to consider what a future would look like where it came back positive. 

There would be fun parts for sure; baby outfits were absolutely adorable, and any kind of posts with kids usually got 15% more likes and comments than those without which would be very good for her brand. But then she remembered all those times that her mom used to tote her and David out to red carpets for the extra publicity. She hadn’t always liked that. That’s where she had first started to meet the men that would be the first in a very, very long string of bad decisions. She didn’t want that for her kid. She wanted her kids to feel loved in a way that she hadn’t when she was little. 

Her kids. 

Kids were never something she had thought of before coming to Schitt’s Creek. Before they had just been something that happened to her friends who fucked up their birth control or who were trying to save their relationships. They were killjoys and messy and loud in a super not fun kind of way. But now… now she had Ted and a job that she was actually good at and a real relationship with her family. Things were different. She was different. 

Her mind was still swirling with all of these thoughts as she walked back to the backroom where Stevie, Patrick and David were all still waiting. The timer on her phone still had three minutes to go and she couldn’t bear to wait for those three by herself. 

“Well?” David asked, as she reentered. 

“The box says it’ll take three minutes.” 

“How are you feeling?” Stevie asked

Alexis shrugged, “I’m not entirely sure” 

“For what it’s worth,” Stevie said carefully, “If it’s positive, I think that Ted’s gonna be a really good dad.” 

“Yeah. I know…but…But what about me?” she asked quietly, looking down at her hands, “It’s not like I was really built to be anyone’s mom.” 

“And you think ours was?” David asked incredulously, “but I mean, we turned out…” he paused seeming to way his options 

“Fine.” Patrick finished, “you both turned out just fine.” 

“I don’t know,” Alexis said quietly, “what if I can’t do it? What if I turn out like Mom? I mean like Mom when we were kids. All selfish and crappy?” 

“Okay,” said Stevie, holding up both of her hands, “Take if from someone who actually had consistently crappy parents; you are not gonna be one. You’re a good person Alexis. You’re wouldn’t do what Mrs. Rose used to do to you and David because you know better than that.” 

Alexis looked at the timer on her phone. 1 minute. 

“Hey,” it was David this time, “you don’t have to do this at all you know. You have…options”

Alexis sighed, “I know, I know but…I don’t think I want that. I mean. Not that that. I think…” she paused, “I think I’d want to keep it.” 

“Yeah?” David asked tentatively 

“Yeah.” Alexis said, “I didn’t think I would ever want this. But things are different now. I’m different now. Having a baby is a good thing. It’s a happy thing. It would give me a chance to make sure that there’s not another person that has to grow up like we grew up. If I am pregnant…I’m gonna keep the baby.” 

She let the weight of her words hang in the air for a moment before David walked up to her and placed both hands on her arms, running them up and down.  
“Then I’m with you a hundred percent.” 

She smiled, “yeah?” 

“Well, 89 at least.” He was teasing her again. Thank God. She needed him to tease her. She needed him to act like the next thirty seconds weren’t the most important ones of her entire life. Her phone chimed. They all turned to look at the test in her hand. 

Alexis shook her wrists and started bouncing on the heels of her toes; her heart was beating faster now. Every second that she didn’t look at it was one more second where either reality was still possible. 

“I can’t. I can’t” she said, she held the test out to David, “you do it.” 

“EW!” he said recoiling from the test, “Hell no! you peed on that! Stevie you do it!” 

“Uh I bought it! Patrick you do it!” 

“Uh, no?” 

“Ugh!” she cried, “Will someone please just look at it and tell me if I’m pregnant or not?!” 

“You’re pregnant?” 

Shit. 

Alexis felt like someone had just dumped a bucket of cold water on her, soaking her head to toe. She turned around slowly to see Ted standing in the doorway of the back room. He was looking at her with wide eyes and his mouth was slightly ajar. 

“What…What are you--?” 

“You told me to meet you here for lunch” he said, “I heard you talking and I just…You’re pregnant?” 

Alexis’ heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. She swallowed. 

“I uh...I don’t know. I might be. I think so. I took a test.” 

“What’s it say?” Ted asked, his voice sounded slightly strained, Alexis could tell he was working so hard to school back any kind of emotion he might be feeling right now 

“I don’t know.” She answered dumbly

Ted took a tentative step forward. “Do you want me to look?” 

Alexis shook her wrists again. This was not how this was supposed to go. 

“I, uh...I mean…uh, wow um okay” Her head was spinning. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to know about this yet. Maybe even at all. What was she supposed to do? What was she supposed to do?!

“Lexi” Ted said softly, as he walked towards her, “I know you’re scared. And that’s okay. I’m scared too. And whatever that test says I still love you. And whatever you decide to do, I will still love you. But that being said, my brain is literally going to explode if you don’t look at that stick.” 

Alexis looked up at Ted. Sweet, beautiful, lovely, Ted. She loved him so much. And he loved her. 

She nodded, and handed him the test. 

He took it from her in one hand, the other held onto her tightly at the waist. She held her breath. Everyone was holding their breath. 

Ted flipped the test over and they both peered down at it. Staring back up at them was a small, pink plus sig. Positive. She was pregnant. Holy shit. 

“It’s positive.” She whispered, “we’re having a baby.” She felt her face break into a smile. A real, full, happy smile. Ted was smiling back at her. 

“We’re having a baby!” Ted pulled her in at the waist and pressed a kiss to her lips. He put both his hands on either side of her face and it felt like he was trying to kiss every single available piece of her skin. Alexis was laughing. She was clinging to Ted tightly and laughing. They were having a baby! Holy shit, they were having a baby. 

Behind them Patrick, Stevie, and David were cheering. 

“Oh my god!” Stevie yelled, Alexis pulled away from Ted, as Stevie rushed towards her and hugged her, “Congrats guys.” 

“Congratulations!” Patrick said as he came forward and pulled her into a hug, as he pulled away he clapped Ted on the back and they shared a knowing smile. 

“David?” she looked over at her brother who had his hands up to his face, covering his mouth and nose. It was his go-to move for when he was trying not to smile. She thought she saw tears forming in his eyes, although that might have just been her own. 

He walked forward and pulled her into a tight hug. She smiled and squeezed him back. 

“Oh my god!” he laughed, as she pulled away, “you’re gonna get so fat!” 

She smacked him on the hard playfully, “Eww David! That’s so mean!” 

But he was smiling at her, like really truly smiling at her. Not his stupid little scrunchy smile but a real one. And she could help but smile back. 

Except then his smile faltered for a moment. 

“What?” she asked, and David smirked. 

“You’re gonna have to tell Mom and Dad.” 

Well, shit.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on tumblr: oscarwildewannabe


End file.
